I saw a dance performance last Friday night called “Momix”. The production was called “Alchemia” and it was all about the polarities of things that are normally in opposition. Calling themselves “Dance illusionists”, these performers explored the space and tension in between elements like water and fire or male and female, etc. which they refer to as “conjunction”. As I watched totally mesmerized by the creative expression of these concepts, I literally felt expansive in my body and mind.
In therapy, we refer to this as a dialectic – and I often offer this frame for clients – things don’t have to be mutually exclusive and when we hold space for them to exist at the same time, we often have more room from which to move, make decisions, feel, be, etc. So I remember the day when I realized that holding the dialectic of breast cancer was so helpful for me. It allowed me to feel spacious and less constricted. This is my dialectic of breast cancer:
My breast cancer is a really big deal and at the very same time, it is not a big deal at all.
Holding this statement reminds me that it is ok to have days where I think and feel “I am so done with this shit and ready to move on” and days where I think and feel, “I am so very grateful that this is treatable and that I didn’t need further treatment”. Both are true statements and when I hold them together, I create space for all of it to exist at the same time. It is so freeing when we give ourselves permission to be where we are.